Last night marked the much-anticipated return of Mark Frost and David Lynch's Twin Peaks. Since its second season ended in 1991, a lot has changed socially. Reflecting back on the show's initial run, it was painfully caucasian and employed some awfully crass stereotypes. Now that it's 2017, it makes sense that Frost and Lynch would try to be a little more socially and culturally progressive. But when I tuned in last night to catch the return, I couldn't help but be a little surprised by the blatant virtue signaling. Certainly, being woke is important. But did anybody else feel like they went a little too far? And what was with all the weird neoliberal economic shit? It felt awkward, forced, and kind of actually even more offensive than the original by how ludicrously it screamed political correctness and liberal fiscal theory every two seconds.

Anyways, I live tweeted the first episode from my personal account. If you weren't following along last night, I've taken the trouble to embed the tweets below in chronological order.

i can't believe they tried to modernize angelo badalamenti's flawless theme to twin peaks by inserting a reggae air horn
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 21, 2017

i can't believe that the premise of the new twin peaks is that laura palmer is "dead, wrapped in fidget spinners"
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks instead of cherry pie special agent cooper eats ass
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks people are conspiring to burn down a wework instead of the mill
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks dr jacoby can't stop shitposting on twitter about how bobby cucked leo
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks the great northern had to close after a social media pile-on about cultural appropriation
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks the log lady is referred to as the log theydy
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks the renault brothers are circumventing the drug enforcement agency by importing kratom
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks audrey and ben horne are woke and advocate for sex worker's rights after one-eyed jack's
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks gordon cole's and the one-armed man's disabilities are referred to as different abilities
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks james hurley rides a hoverboard he's not allowed to take on the subway bc it might catch fire
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks leo johnson voted for trump bc automation is going to destroy the commercial trucking industry
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks norma immediately takes back hank as a protest of the prison industrial complex
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks big ed becomes involved with saudi princes to save his gas farm and nadine complains on tumblr
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks bob's character was replaced by the hashtag toxic masculinity
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks dale cooper smashes his face into a front-facing iphone camera when he screams "how's annie"
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks the bookhouse boys are called the bookhouse group of gender-mixed people
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks deputy andy gets fired for asking lucy why she doesn't follow him on soundcloud
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks the double R is staffed by unpaid interns who are compensated with "exposure"
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks the black lodge is a slack channel and the floor is just a custom emoji
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks harold smith isn't an agoraphobe but just simply too empathetic for 2017
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks josie packard asks sheriff truman if he "usually date[s] asian women"
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks david lynch does a voiceover explaining why deputy hawk's character is "ironic, not problematic"
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks donna not only investigates laura palmer's murder but also her own complicity in white privilege
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

i can't believe that in the new twin peaks leland palmer dabs his way through trauma at the great northern
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017

has anybody done this yet pic.twitter.com/gAp2LYrVdt
— sean's gorta mór (@SocMalpractice) May 22, 2017